Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Best Places For Fork

It is hard to know where to put fork. Below I provide many.
  • Left of plate
  • Between fork of earlier course and later course
  • In enemy's eye
  • In mouth with delicious eye
  • Reflecting booming laughter one foot from mouth
  • Pointed at stammering minion
  • Slammed into table after exclaiming an angry, almost musical, "What!?"
  • Twirling on fingers while laughing at funny entertainment men.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Impersonate A Walrus!

Impersonating a walrus is one of my guilty pleasures. Here are a few ways to do it:

  • With two pencils under upper lip
  • With two popcicle sticks under upper lip
  • With two carrot sticks under upper lip
  • With two quarter cup butter sticks under upper lip
  • With a hallowed out stuffed walrus you can get inside of
  • With a fun house "walrus mirror" and two pencils under upper lip
  • With a steady diet of fast and processed foods

"Stop in the name of the law library," said the security guard at the law library.

Things overheard at the "2010 Whisper Expo"

The 2010 "Whisper Expo" has just wrapped up in Toronto and yours truly, thanks to one of my many business trips to large national and international cities, had the luxury of attending. Here are some things I overheard:

  • Shhhh
  • Here's my card, I need a whisper like yours in my roster.
  • The keynote speaker was great, I could barely hear him.
  • Really good layout this year. I loved the library theme.
  • Pss Psss Psss Pss Pss
  • That movie "Whisper Force" looks awesome.
  • Yeah, the trailer had the voice volume I like in a movie, but we'll see, they usually save the best parts for the trailer.
  • Do you know where the men's room is? Oh no my micro phone was on when I whispered that!
  • All that whispering has me hankering for a Whisper Whopper.
  • I didn't like how the janitor didn't whisper when I asked for directions.

Who is the Saskatchewan Phantom?

Prominent Saskatchewan business man by day, comedy blog author by night. Who is the Saskatchewan Phantom? The Phantom's identity will not be revealed in 13 short days. Stay tuned.